Update to "Is it my will or God's Will"

Why is it that your most clear moments of the day usually happen around 2 or 3 in the morning? And why do they only last til about 4 before everything becomes dreamlike again?


Anyways, let me get back on subject with the topic at hand. First, thank you for your prayers and thoughts while I was going through this time of confusion and conflict (both inner and outer). Second, I would like to request that you keep praying for me while I am in the "learning" stages of where God is leading me now.


Now with all that said, let's get to the meat. What have I learned since I last posted? God has taken my spiritual walk and ministry desires in a whole new direction. To put it bluntly, "I'm on foreign soil," so to speak.


Before my time of complacency I was very involved with the children and youth programs, however, for whatever reasons that went "sour." As a result, I began to "sour." Although, I'm still not quite sure if the complacency began before the "sour" or during. What I do know is that sometime during all of this I began to stop reading the Bible and just started "playing" church/Christian.


I am now happy to say that I have been reading my Bible again, and rebuilding my relationship with God. Now with this, God has made Himself clearer to me in what His been "planting" in my heart. I'm beginning to have this strong passion for women's ministry. And let me tell you, this is definitely foreign soil to me. To keep with the "plant" analogy, I'm still a seed, but now I'm being cared for with water and sunlight. In other words, I'm learning. I'm learning from the, well, from the soil up! Through the Bible, praying, my mentor, my sunday school, and various other women of whom I know personally or just through their books.


I know this sounds like a whole lotta "I's," but truth be known, God has really worked a number on me. Like the childhood song says, "He's still working on me. Making me what ought to be. It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars, the Sun and the Earth, and Jupiter and Mars. How loving and patient He must be, cause He's still working on me." What a blessing it truly is to know that I'm still a work in progress.

I hope my thoughts were not too disjointed, but I thought some of you would like to know that God is still in control, sometimes we just have to remember that and give Him the praise. That's a run-on if there ever was one!

Anyways, may God bless you this weekend and coming week! And thank you again for your thoughts and prayers!

Is it my will or God's will?

Everywhere I look I see God moving. I see Him moving in Toronto, Ontario, through coffee hours, food banks, and various other fellowships both within and outside of the church. I see God moving in Perrysburg, OH, where my sister and brother-in-law are in the youth ministry.

I take heart in knowing that my sister and her family, and my mother-in-law are being blessed through their dedication to spreading God's love to others. But then I start to wonder about my own dedication to the Lord. I admit that I have not been faithfullly in The Word in the last few months. Actually, I'm not quite sure when I fell out of The Word, but recently I have started reading the Bible again more faithfully.

Even so, I don't see God moving here. Let me say that better. I don't feel God moving around me. I'm positive God is moving here, but where I'm concerned, I don't feel it. I thought I did feel God moving me in one direction, but I hit a bump in the road. This could just be a mere stepping stone and not a stumbling block, then I began to wonder if it was my own desires I was feeling. Maybe it wasn't God at all.

I feel so lost. I need some guidance, but the more I delve into The Word, the more confused I am.

I guess I just want to know that I'm not alone. That this is common and I will eventually understand or know what I'm suppose to do.

Thanks for reading my ramblings.